Dearest Angel,
I remembered the day we met. It was that summer night filled with so much joy. You had your beautiful red dress, sparkled eyes and that smile that captivated me beyond my wildest dreams.
We started out as friends; then our love was inseparable. We broke all traditional rules because our love was so strong. You were eighteen then but you had the maturity of woman that I have always dreamed of. My heart sunk because I could only have wished that we belong together forever.
Angel, years have passed. I have always dreamed about you in my wildest dreams. I have been gone far and away from you; yet not knowing when I will be able to return to you once more.
My heart torn from not being able to tell you in person on how I have felt and why I had to leave you.
I cried a million tears and filled with so much remorse of what I had done. I questioned myself on why things are they way they are in life; yet I come to no real conclusion; only succumbed to feelings of hopelessness and despairs.
Angel, I have not betrayed our love; but circumstances separated us. I yearn for you each and every day. And there is not a single day that goes by that I don’t think about you. You are my sweet and innocent Angel.
My days are long yet the picture of your lovely face and that adorable smile excites me to laugh in lonely tears. How and when we can meet again? Is there such thing as miracle in life? Can two broken hearts be healed? Will time be a test of our patience and a testament of our true love for one another?
Angel, I could only have wished that day is near. I want to hold you close in my arms. I want to see your smile again and feel those tenderly touch.
I want to turn back time to those memorable moments where we took a quiet ride across the Japanese bridge giggling about the birthday cake that got on to your nose. Those windy days in Kampong Cham looking across Tonle Bet, imagining how our lives will be, nothing less than beautiful. Those sentimental moments on a hammock whispering our words of love; nothing less than sweet joy.
We were on top of our own world then….Our lust and love were so strong. And we were just inseparable.
Why does our journey through life be so cruel, neglecting those happy times together? Why does true love always filled with so many obstacles? Yet, I cannot find any real conclusion. Maybe, as they say, love is nothing more than those moments that we cherished together. Can it ever be everlasting, I wonder? Yet, as they say, it is what you make of it.
We may have parted and those happy days may have gone; yet my love for you is still strong. Time has taught me to be resilience and to be patience in my resolve to find peace in my soul.
I have not conquered the fear of losing you. Yet I know that if I do, it is not me; but you, who will have made that decision. Will you ever forgive me for what I have done to you, I have always wondered?
As I contemplate on the days ahead, I have nothing but emptiness in my soul. I yearn for nothing more than a second chance in life that happy times will be everlasting. Yet I doubt those days will ever come; but I have always been a dreamer. I am filled with nothing more than optimism that one day the dark cloud hovering over me will be yielding. Henceforth, I will be forgiven for my sins in life.
For now, I could only pray each night that our father art thou in heaven will have mercy upon me. For he knows that I am nothing more than a man that have erred and that I am nowhere close to perfection of a man he expects me to be. I am who I am, Johnny Chuon.
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